Lucy knew it was a bad idea to do trick or treat on door 401 but her best friend Jack who had the most vivid red hair and who was more mischievious than sensible Lucy thought it would be fun. As they strolled cautiously along the long, twining path, green mist swirled across the moss grass, Lucy stopped in her tracks, she saw a grey, old figure staring at her out of the attic window.
"You knock!" Lucy screamed as she scrambled away from the silvery, sticky cobweb that dangled from the archway.
"Scary cat Lucy, stop grabbing my arm, anyway he's probably got pots full of sweets!" Jack laughed
They walked carefully to the grand, wooden door and knocked loudly, the door opened, creaking from its hinges and a figure stood before them.
"Trick or t..t...treat" Lucy stammered whilst Jack stared at his crusted face with curiousity.
The figure grabbed the children with his large, heavy, hands and threw them into the side cupboard locking the door with chains and several locks. Jack was petrified, he hated the dark, more so he hated confined spaces and whimpered into Lucy's shoulder, he was shivering like mad and Lucy was frightened to death, her heart pounded loudly and her hands were clammy as she tried to dial her home number.
"Mum....mmm...mum, I'm scared, I'm locked in a cupboard at room 401 Graveyard Street!"
"Oh no, don't worry love, I'll ring the police, stay calm" her mum replied.
Jack and Lucy sat quietly on the damp, concrete floor with only the sound of the drain dripping and their hearts beating like a rythmic drum, they were too frightened to move, they waited patiently, listening carefully for the screeching, sirens. Within minutes the noise they waited for finally came, sirens echoing in the frosted, velvet, sky, doors slamming, shouting beckoning from the front and police officers hammered, harshly at the large door, frantically and impatiently they freed Lucy and Jack then searched the house for the man in question, they searched high and low but couldn't find anyone there, the officer in charge rang head office and apparantly the house had been empty for 7 years. Jack and Lucy were bewildered and all they wanted to do was go home.
"I don't think you will be going trick or treating for some time now Jack!" Jack's mum said sternly "I told you to stay on the street!"
As Lucy and Jack got into the car they glanced quickly at the old, crooked house as they looked away relieved to be safe a shadow caught their eyes, a grey, old figure with a crusted face glared back at them from the attic window!
1366 people have rated this story so far: Overall Score:4/5
Showcase story administrator comments
A modern mythic story, which uses lots of interesting descriptive words and phrases, and with a good beginning and a good ending. The beginning grabs your attention by indirectly telling you immediately that something is going to go wrong with this fairly ordinary activity. The ending keeps the menace going despite the comfort of the outcome. Well done.