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Achilles (From Ancient Greek and improvised, my version!)

A myth submitted to the site by Greg Sang

Greek

When Achilles was just a baby, his mother wanted to protect him so she dipped him into the River Styx which separated the earth from the underworld. However she didn't realise that as she held his ankle she did not dip it in and so Achilles became invincible all over his body except for his ankle. He grew up with amazing strength along with his invincible body (of course with his weakness in his ankle). He was trained by a centaur named Chiron who made him even more powerful than ever. "You must be strong even though you are invincible," Chiron would often warn him. "But Chiron I am invincible! No arrow may pierce me nor will any other sword or spear. I will tear all of them apart with my bear hands!" Achilles would shout back.


One day Chiron brought him to the River Styx.
"Why did you bring me to the Styx?" asked Achilles.
"To make you invincible my child." replied Chiron gently. Achilles thought of this as an insult as he thought he was already invincible and didn't have a weak spot, still mortal.
"Why you stupid old horse! I am already invincible, the greatest hero of all time! I cannot be stopped, don't you see old fool? You coward!" shouted Achilles proudly in Chiron's face. Chiron sighed in dismay and did not tell Achilles about his origin and what he really was, for immortals could not interfere with mortal lives and their fates.
"Someday you will look up to your murderer and remember what I have said to you. Although you are invincible you still have to be strong and intelligent. Even the greatest hero has weaknesses." Achilles clenched his fist and was about to argue back but Chiron stamped his feet on the ground and disappeared in a cloud of mist. Great, thought Achilles, he tells me to jump in a puddle of black water and then disappears after I insult him? Great, now I have to train myself.

Years after Chiron's disappearance, Achilles trained even harder with the hate and guilt against Chiron. With one slice of his sword he could tear open a Cyclops body and with a great throw of his mighty spear he could throw further than any Spartan and strike from amazing distances. During his training he was given an enchanted sword called Alumos by the god of fire and forges, Hephaestus. Alumos set anything it sliced on fire and burn it almost instantly for the fire had been taken from Hephaestus forge itself. He was also given a shield from Zues who admired his skill despite his invincibility, this shield was called Ripple for it's godly power. Any arrow, spear, sword or any other weapon that was unfortunate enough to get blocked by Ripple would automatically be teared apart from the vibration Ripple created. The weapons were legendary, and Achilles himself was legendary.

A few years later, a war had started, and Achilles was chosen as the leader on the front lines to lead the army. Achilles at this time was even more arrogant than he was to Chiron and took no mercy on the mortal enemy with his weapons. "Charge my men!" Achilles roared and the war cry could be heard from the last lines of the enemy. With Achilles leading the charge, an estimated of 0.5 men died in battle. He was as fast as lightning and for a second all you could see was the vibrations in the air Ripple caused and the fiery aura Alumos was giving off. The enemy didn't even have time to mourn for their dead as Achilles charged with lightning speed and Ripple guarding his chest, at one point the enemy retreated and surrounded Achilles army with a giant amount of men with spears sticking out of they giant shields. Though many of his men retreated behind Achilles he did not fear. His lieutenant whispered from behind, "Achilles! Retreat! Even you are not strong enough to hold of this army!! Retreat, we shall come back in the morning! Do you hear?!"
Achilles just slammed his foot on the ground and it rumbled back in return, after a second he bellowed so loud the enemy fell of their feet,
"Leave my men be! I know you all want me to take back as a prize for your king!! What chance do I have anyway? Let my men leave and it will be a million to one instead of a million against a million! This offer expires as soon as you lift your weapon up so please reconsider!!!" He boomed so loud his men shouted in distress, "What do you think you're...."
They did not have time to finish as the general of the enemy shouted in return, "Achilles! I accept your offer! Do not think that this will let your men live, once we're finished with you we'll go back for your men!! Now come and show me what you've got!!"

Without a seconds thought, Achilles did the natural thing to do, he charged. As he sprinted, no sound was created and the enemy was stunned when Achilles ran straight up to the general and with one mighty blow he slammed the sharp side of Alumos into his helmet and the general fell as his body went slack. The enemy army did not grief or mourn for their dead general in fact they just started hacking at Achilles but nothing happened. Every sword and spear just bounced off him harmlessly, he could barely notice. Then as Achilles fought a picture of Chiron appeared in his mind whispering to his ear gently, "Run now my hero while you still can, do not be a coward."
Achilles let out a cry in distress and began hacking away and slicing with even more ferocity than before. The enemy retreated but it was no use, instead of escaping his army had surrounded the enemies.

His lieutenant shouted through the piercing sound of slicing and hacking, "My leader! Achilles, we will never abandon you! HEEVE! HEEEVE! HEEEEVE!!!!" Achilles smiled but his good mood did not last as he looked up and saw the generals lieutenant notch and arrow from his quiver and aimed straight towards Achilles ankle.
As the enemy prepared to fire Achilles laughed, "Haha! My friend, do you think an arrow could hurt me? It doesn't matter if a THOUSAND arrows were aimed at me, I would not die, fool!"
The enemy laughed in return and smirked, "Apollo and Poseidon have informed me that you are not completely invincible, although you have godly weapons and strength along you are not invincible. And that you have a weak spot just above your ankle. The spot I'm aiming at now." He broke back into a laugh again and Achilles could do nothing but stare at him in shock but finally curiosity won over and he shouted, "That...is a lie! Chiron is a liar! You are a fool to believe the gods! They know nothing of me and my godly powers! I will tear......" He never got to finish as the arrow flew straight above Achilles ankle. At first his face was felled with surprise and shock but a second passed and he fell onto his knees and screeched in pain, with his last breath he managed the words, "Chiron......so.....so....sorry."

And unfortunately my story ends here. Remember this story is my improvised version of the legend of Achilles, of course I hope you enjoyed it and leave a comment below for me to see! Thanks so much for reading :D!!!!!!

By Greg Sang
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Your comments

Add your commentsThere are 4 comments for this story.

Latest comments:
Name: Nikuna Nsimba 16th October 2013
Your version was amasing I truly liked it but I'll like to ask you a question:on what ground did you relate your version because honestly speaking it made more sens to me
Name: Monkey 13th November 2012
cool
Name: Monkey 12th November 2012
i loved it
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