On top of the snow mountains there lived in a certain village, a little vigliante, the prettiest vigilante that you had ever seen. Her mother was fond of her, and her grandmother loved her even more. This old woman made her a red hooded cloak for her Sweet 16, which fit the girl so well that the villagers called her Red Riding Hood.
One day her mother, having made some tasty treats, said to her: "I want you to see how well your Grandmother Lavidia is, for I heard that she has a cold. Go to her house and carry her a cake, and this little pot of jam."
Red Riding Hood set out to her grandmother's house, who lived in another part of the forest. As she was walking through the mountains, she came across the lycanthropic monk, Llowh' wof, otherwise known as Master Wolf. He longed to devour her, but he dared not, because of some lumberjacks nearby.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"I am going to see my grandmother," Red Riding Hood explained. "To carry her a cake, and a little pot of jam."
"Does she live far away?" asked Llowh'wof.
"Oh, not at all," said Red Riding Hood. "It is beyond that mill, at the first house in the gardens."
"I will go and see her," said Llowh'wof. "I will take the Path of Thorns, and you take the Path of Flowers, and we shall see who gets there faster."
The monk began to run as fast as he could, taking the Path of Thorns, and the girl went by the Path of Flowers, enjoying herself as she picked nuts and made bouqets of wild-flowers. It was not long before the monk came to the grandmother's house.
"Who is there?" Lavidia asked.
"Your grandchild, Red Riding Hood," the monk replied, imitating the girl's voice. "I have brought you a cake, and a little pot of jam."
The good Grandmother, who was busily sewing in bed, because she found herself to be ill, cried out: "Pull the bobbin, and the latch will go up."
The monk pulled the bobbin, and the door opened. He jumped on Lavidia and ate her up in ten seconds flat! He closed the door and went into the grandmother's bed.
Red Riding Hood came and knocked on the door.
"Who is there?" the monk asked.
Red Riding Hood, hearing the sinister voice of the wolf, was at first surprise, but she knew it could not be her Grandmother, so she answered: "It is your grandchild, Scarletta, I have brought you a cake, and a little pot of jam."
The monk cried out to her: "Pull the bobbin, and the latch will go up."
Red Riding Hood pulled the bobbin, and the door opened. The monk, seeing her come in, hid himself under the covers.
"Put the cake, and the little pot of jam in the bread-box," he ordered. "And sit down in a chair."
Red Riding Hood hung her cloak on the coat-rack and sat down in a chair.
"Grandmother, what furry arms you have!"
"The better to hug you with,"
"Grandmother, what furry legs you have!"
"The better to chase you with,"
"Grandmother, what furry ears you have!"
"The better to hear you with,"
"And what great teeth you have!"
"These are to EAT YOU WITH!"
Llowh'wof jumped on Red Riding Hood, but she took out her machine-gun and shot the monk straight through his chest. Then she got a pair of scissors and cut open his stomach, where Lavidia was.
"Thank you for saving me," the Grandmother said.
"Now the werewolves of the forest will not bother us anymore," Red Riding Hood said.