Far far away was a castle covered with vines. It was old and grey. But inside every room was filled with joy and happiness. One of the biggest room belonged to a beautiful princess with ocean blue eyes and dark brown hear that swishes around every time she walked. Living with the princess was the king who had a long grey beard and a golden crown that sat at the top of the king’s bald head
Behind the castle was a scary dragon that breathed red hot fire the dragon had sharp spikes all over his back and loved to feed on anything around him. Sometimes the dragon was good help because he ate the over grown hedges but his favourite food was humans.
As the princess woke up out of her humongous bed. Her cheeks were as red as roses as she looked out of the window only to see nearly all her trees and hedges were gone! The princess shrieked everyone in the place came storming into the princess room,” what is wrong?” asked the king
“Look father all are lovely tree’s have vanished into that greedy dragons mouth what are we going to do?” cried the princess!
“This is a disaster! If the dragon has finished trees and bushes he is going to start eating humans!!!” shrieked the king.
Suddenly the castle shook and a huge roar echoed through the valley. “ I have idea what if we feed all the kids to the dragon?” suggested the king . All the adults agreed.”No that not very nice we should come up with another idea!” exclaimed the princess.
“Don’t worry we won’t feed you sweaty” smiled the king
Aurally the dragon did anther terafing roar “no that’s not very nice father we shouldn’t feed the kid’s the dragon! “
“I have made my diction and there is nothing you can do to change it!” exclaimed the king
“But father,” cried the princess
“No buts’!” shouted the king and then everyone left the princess room. The princess sat on her bed crying and wandering what to next.
The next day the princess woke up hoping all the kids would be there but when she looked out the window she saw a digger picking thousands of kids up and feeding it to the dragon unfortunately she saw her best friend in the digger she was crying and screaming to get out. Silently she made her way down the stars. Sadly she said to her dad “so you are actually feeding all the kids to the dragon?”
“yes” replied the father
In a blink of an eye, all the children were gone! Even the digger had vanished. Then a huge burp was heard.
“what are we going to do?” asked the princess
“I have an idea” smiled the king “I will feed you to the dragon he will get full by eating you.” The princess was shocked at her father’s idea. That night the princess went to sleep frightened about what might happen next.
Eight hours later, the princess found herself tied to a tree shouting for help at the top of her voice. A few minutes later a Blake horse came riding to her rescue with a knight in shining aremere.
He grabbed his swordd and pearced through the dragon’s heart and rescued the princess, they got married in a lovely village. As for the king he was tied to the tree forever!
This is great but, in a few parts of the story you have accidently mixed up the future/past tences e.g..
belonged to a beautiful princess with ocean blue eyes and dark brown (hear)---(hair) that (swishes) around every time she walked. i give it 4/5