Long ago in ancient Greece there was a strong handsome soldier called Apollo. Apollo had a beautiful wife called Athena, who had been kidnapped by an old king called Minos. Apollo was devastated and vowed to rescue Athena. He knew that the king would have taken her to his palace in Crete but a monster called the Chimera guarded this palace.
The Chimera was a ferocious monster with the head of a lion, the body of a goat and a long serpent as a tail. Many heroic men had traveled to his cave and tried to kill the Chimera but had been burnt to death by his fiery flame breath. Although Apollo was a brave man, he did not know how to kill this enormous monster. His father told him to go to Mount Olympos and ask the great God Zeus for advice.
Apollo set off immediately and soon reached the great mountain, were the twelve gods lived. Apollo called Zeus and begged for his advice. Zeus appeared before him and explained that although the Chimera was fierce and strong, his heart is poisoned blood. If Apollo could pierce his heart, the blood would leak into his body and the monster would die agonising death. Zeus gave Apollo a silver word, a shiny shield and shoes twice as fast a lion. Apollo thanked Zeus and set off on the long journey of Crete.
Apollo walked on dry roads, climbed mountain's and sailed the great sea until at last he reached the palace of King Minos. He entered the cave that was home to the monster and could hear his blood chilling roar. Apollo crept through the tunnels and edged closer to the monsters lair. When he was close enough the serpents hissing, he put on the shoes of swiftness and got his sword and shield ready. he held up his shield in every direction trying to confuse the monster. The sword flew into the air and went straight into the heart, the lion roared as loud as he could and fell to the floor with a loud BANG!!
Apollo ran to the door, took out the sword then kicked the door, saw his wife then unchained the hanger then they kissed and this day Apollo prays.
This was very well-written, thanks for writing. You could make it even better if you up-levelled it with extra adjectives, crucial connectives and also, more amazing adverbials. Punctuation too of course!